VW Sharan Starting fault....Help!!?

Hi
I have a 1997 2.0 Auto Sharan that suddenly developed a very odd problem, went out in it then when I went to come home ignition switched on but nothing when I turned to the starting position, almost as if I wasnt in "P" or "N" which I was. I also noticed that I could move the auto selector to any position even if my foot was not on the brake. Lifting the bonet I could start the car if the ignition was on and I opened the starter relay casing and physically squeezed the contacts together, so for some reason the starter relay is not being energised. The little switch that tells it its in "P" or "N" seems to be fine, assuming that I have checked the right switch.... anyone any ideas..

Many thanks

Kev